I'll admit it. I'm not coping well. After spending so long working to lose weight and streamline my body I feel like all hope is lost.
I just haven't had the energy to keep up with regular exercise, lunchtimes are spent cat napping and I'm usually passed out on the sofa by 9pm most evenings. October has basically just been about surviving, something which I've not really enjoyed.
As a result, I've lost muscle tone, I've lost strength, I've lost motivation and I feel terrible for it.
In the last 3 months, I've put on somewhere in the region of 2-5lbs. I know it doesn't seem like a lot, I can't accurately say what I've put on as I'm trying my hardest to stay off the scales. I've weighed in at 9st 4lbs and 9st 7lbs on the odd mornings I've weighed in. So chances are I haven't really gained that much at all, but I feel like I have.
My whole middle section is losing shape, I know its to be expected after all... I am pregnant. But after spending more than a year in tight fitting figure hugging clothing I'm struggling to find things in my wardrobe that I'm comfortable wearing. I've had really bad ab ache for the last few days, I presume as everythings stretching to make way for the baby which is just about to start its crazy growth (I think its supposed to start doubling in size every fortnight or something). I'm just not sure how I'm going to get on when it happens. Perhaps when I have an obvious bump it won't be so bad, right now I just look like I've eaten all the pies.
Its now less than a week until our scan date, just a measly 6 days. I wonder if when 'it' becomes a baby I'll feel better about the changes going on with me. I guess the excessive amount of hormones don't help, nor do my enormous boobs which seem to have taken on a life of their own. If I'm not feeling sick, my eyes are welling up at at anything and everything. I wonder if I am finding a certain amount of comfort in food right now. As I'm sitting here at 9.24am slowly making my way through a packet of Wotsits to take away the need to puke I feel quite content.
I really hope that the next few weeks see me return to a more normal version of me. I'd love to be eating a little better, I'd love to have enough energy to even just do a 30 minute session of exercise at lunchtime (I really miss the gym at lunch!). I'd love to be able to make the most of the crisp air outside and get out for weekend runs.
Friday, 29 October 2010
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
11 Weeks
I'm not very good at posting am I? To be honest, writing about how crap I feel on a daily basis hardly makes good reading!
Still, here I am at 11 weeks stopping by for another update. I've not managed to shred every day since I started. I ached like heck for about 3 days after the first shred, but aside from the odd shred I've managed to fit in, we've done some nice long walks with the dogs over the weekend which I'm sure have gone some way to keep me in I shape... and have contributed to some epic long naps on the sofa too.
Observations on tiredness are that I'm absolutely whacked. I mean seriously whacked! I had a good nights sleep last night and a sleep in the car to work this morning and I'm still feeling exhausted. Its not like 'over sleep exhaustion' either, its mentally destroyed exhaustation. I can't even think about doing things without feeling tired. Not good!
Aside from the tiredness, the nausea is probably getting a little better. First thing in the morning (on a working day) I'm needing to eat something as soon as I get up. Otherwise I go through this horrible dry wretching thing. My gag reflex seems to have become quite weak over the last week. Last night is was the thought of the smell of Chargrilled Steak McCoys that sent me over the edge. *shudders*
Food intake is easing off a bit. I've tried to be clever by reducing calorie intake of the things I've been eating, for example todays food:
* Lemon & Raisin Pancake - 90 cals (before I left for work)
* Bowl of Coco pops with semi skimmed milk (when I got to work)
* Banana (mid morning)
* Wholemeal Roll w/ Gouda, Ham and Cucumber (lunch)
* Bag of Wotsits - 95 calories (much less than the >250 calories of some other bags I've eaten recently)
* Penguin Bar - 120 calories ish (again much less than a wispa or a mars bar)
* Grapes
* Dinner (which tonight will be steak, field mushrooms, brocolli + sweet potato)
So still not great in terms of the sort of things I'm eating, but at least I'm eating less and making more sensible choices in the realm of the food I fancy. Gotta love pay day and the ability to get to Tesco!
In other news, a new bra arrived yesterday evening. AMAZING! I tell you what, having boobs that now fit in a bra other than my sports bra is fabulous. I've gone up 2 cup sizes so far. Hopefully I'll stay the same size for a little longer before I have to buy any more. Bras are definately one of the hidden costs of pregnancy.
Finally, to continue my fruit themed baby development according to the tracker on my iphone its now the size of a fig.
Still, here I am at 11 weeks stopping by for another update. I've not managed to shred every day since I started. I ached like heck for about 3 days after the first shred, but aside from the odd shred I've managed to fit in, we've done some nice long walks with the dogs over the weekend which I'm sure have gone some way to keep me in I shape... and have contributed to some epic long naps on the sofa too.
Observations on tiredness are that I'm absolutely whacked. I mean seriously whacked! I had a good nights sleep last night and a sleep in the car to work this morning and I'm still feeling exhausted. Its not like 'over sleep exhaustion' either, its mentally destroyed exhaustation. I can't even think about doing things without feeling tired. Not good!
Aside from the tiredness, the nausea is probably getting a little better. First thing in the morning (on a working day) I'm needing to eat something as soon as I get up. Otherwise I go through this horrible dry wretching thing. My gag reflex seems to have become quite weak over the last week. Last night is was the thought of the smell of Chargrilled Steak McCoys that sent me over the edge. *shudders*
Food intake is easing off a bit. I've tried to be clever by reducing calorie intake of the things I've been eating, for example todays food:
* Lemon & Raisin Pancake - 90 cals (before I left for work)
* Bowl of Coco pops with semi skimmed milk (when I got to work)
* Banana (mid morning)
* Wholemeal Roll w/ Gouda, Ham and Cucumber (lunch)
* Bag of Wotsits - 95 calories (much less than the >250 calories of some other bags I've eaten recently)
* Penguin Bar - 120 calories ish (again much less than a wispa or a mars bar)
* Grapes
* Dinner (which tonight will be steak, field mushrooms, brocolli + sweet potato)
So still not great in terms of the sort of things I'm eating, but at least I'm eating less and making more sensible choices in the realm of the food I fancy. Gotta love pay day and the ability to get to Tesco!
In other news, a new bra arrived yesterday evening. AMAZING! I tell you what, having boobs that now fit in a bra other than my sports bra is fabulous. I've gone up 2 cup sizes so far. Hopefully I'll stay the same size for a little longer before I have to buy any more. Bras are definately one of the hidden costs of pregnancy.
Finally, to continue my fruit themed baby development according to the tracker on my iphone its now the size of a fig.
Thursday, 21 October 2010
10+1
Who'd have thought that I'd manage two posts in as many days? Could this be a sign of me feeling more human?
Not an awful lot to report to be honest, but I did think it was worth writing that I completed Day 1 of the 30 Day Shred last night. It was really tough, my muscles were screaming after being dormant for 3 weeks. This morning I feel ok though, so I guess they coped. That said, I could feel my thigh muscles twinging a bit as I was driving to work this morning.
I'm going to start tracking what I'm eating each day, I reckon by seeing a few days written down I'll be able to find what things are satisfying my hunger and what things aren't.
Yesterday I ate the following:
* Swig of Mars Milk
* Ready Salted Crisps
* 2 Hash Browns
* Spoonful of Beans
* 1 Cumberland Sausage
* Wispa Duo (both bits)
* 50g M&S Cheese Tasters
* Ham and Mustard Sandwich
* Banana
* Quavers
* Salmon Fillet with Mash & Brocolli, Carrot + Parsnip
* Slice of Chocolate Brownie Cheesecake :-o
So not all that bad in terms of consumption, but some pretty high calorie things in there! As I mentioned in my post yesterday, I managed to avoid hunger until 5pm (later than it has been in recent days). However, I ate the Quavers on the way home and I was starving by the time Mr H got home and we had dinner at 7.30pm. Whilst I'm talking about dinner, we tried out some salmon fillets from 'The Fish Co'. I saw them in Tesco, same price as the Tesco fillets, but more weight and came with a sauce. The sachet was tiny, but it was just enough to add a layer of interesting flavour. I was quite impressed. Will certainly look out for the other flavours when we're next shopping.
Looking at food for today.... what I plan to eat is:
* Swig of Mars Milk (its all gone now!)
* Pan au Chocolat
* Glass of Milk
* Banana
* Ham, Cheese & Cucumber Sandwich
* Ready Salted Crisps
* Grapes
* Clementine
* Tub of Microwave Baked Beans
* Minute Steaks with Pepperonata, Brocolli and Spinach.
Fingers crossed I won't need anything else!
Not an awful lot to report to be honest, but I did think it was worth writing that I completed Day 1 of the 30 Day Shred last night. It was really tough, my muscles were screaming after being dormant for 3 weeks. This morning I feel ok though, so I guess they coped. That said, I could feel my thigh muscles twinging a bit as I was driving to work this morning.
I'm going to start tracking what I'm eating each day, I reckon by seeing a few days written down I'll be able to find what things are satisfying my hunger and what things aren't.
Yesterday I ate the following:
* Swig of Mars Milk
* Ready Salted Crisps
* 2 Hash Browns
* Spoonful of Beans
* 1 Cumberland Sausage
* Wispa Duo (both bits)
* 50g M&S Cheese Tasters
* Ham and Mustard Sandwich
* Banana
* Quavers
* Salmon Fillet with Mash & Brocolli, Carrot + Parsnip
* Slice of Chocolate Brownie Cheesecake :-o
So not all that bad in terms of consumption, but some pretty high calorie things in there! As I mentioned in my post yesterday, I managed to avoid hunger until 5pm (later than it has been in recent days). However, I ate the Quavers on the way home and I was starving by the time Mr H got home and we had dinner at 7.30pm. Whilst I'm talking about dinner, we tried out some salmon fillets from 'The Fish Co'. I saw them in Tesco, same price as the Tesco fillets, but more weight and came with a sauce. The sachet was tiny, but it was just enough to add a layer of interesting flavour. I was quite impressed. Will certainly look out for the other flavours when we're next shopping.
Looking at food for today.... what I plan to eat is:
* Swig of Mars Milk (its all gone now!)
* Pan au Chocolat
* Glass of Milk
* Banana
* Ham, Cheese & Cucumber Sandwich
* Ready Salted Crisps
* Grapes
* Clementine
* Tub of Microwave Baked Beans
* Minute Steaks with Pepperonata, Brocolli and Spinach.
Fingers crossed I won't need anything else!
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
10 weeks today
So I'm 10 weeks today, can't really believe it. Time has gone fast as well as slow. It's hard to describe. I'm just about over my cold now, I'm still feeling crappy in the evenings and first thing in the morning, but the bit of the day when I feel best is getting longer - hurrah! Continuing on with the fruit references from my last post, apparently the baby is the size of a kumquat. I'm not sure how big a kumquat is, but I guess its bigger than a grape!
Speaking of fruit, I'm back on it, not in a big way, but have had a banana each day this week along with some melon, strawberries, grapes and raspberries. Its a major step forward in re-introducing some regular foods to my diet. The nausea seems to come and go, I thought I'd seen the last of it, but it came back when I went back to work on Monday. I think baby must not like me going to work :P
The biggest change I've noticed over the last week (apart from my increasingly flumpy feeling middle section) is my appetite. I go from fine to starving in minutes. When hunger hits I become restless, irritable and cannot focus on anything but food. Yesterday I had to leave work early because I didn't have any change for the vending machine. I drove to M&S and got a sandwich, a packet of crisps and a wispa duo to half with Mr H. Mental! It did mean that when I got home I wasn't really in the mood for dinner, but did manage a spoonful of homemade curry and rice later on.
My somewhat limited diet and this urgent hunger issue is making food quite a challenge at the moment. I'm still trying to figure out what works best for me. Today I tried having a big breakfast (after the glass of milk I had before leaving for work and the packet of crisps from my lunch I scoffed down whilst sitting in traffic and suffering a major hunger attack). It possibly seems to have worked. I had beans on toast at about 8.30am, then a banana, some chocolate, another packet of crisps (I know, I know!), then my sandwich (ham & mustard) and another nibble of chocolate. Its now 3.40pm and I'm doing ok in the hunger department. Time will tell but I fully expect to be starving by 4pm.
I'm still finding the tiredness to be an issue. I've been getting through this week by having a catnap in my car at lunch. I've got quite a good little set up, a nice cosy coat with a hood to keep the sound/light out and my scarf doubles as a blanket so people *hopefully* don't see me in there. I keep expecting to have one of the security guys tap on the window, I think I'd be quite embaressed! But needs must. Its certainly helping me stay more on the ball in the afternoons, and I think its helping with the nausea too.
Its now been about 3 (or more) weeks since I've done any proper exercise, but now that my cold is mostly shifted, I've had more of an urge to do something. I think I'm going to start the 30 day shred again, I figure I can do 20 minutes right?! Also hoping to get out for a run at the weekend. I'm sure my muscles are going to SCREAM at me when I re-start. But I need to do it, I've hated not having enough energy to exercise, has made me feel really crappy! I'm still ever hopeful that at 12 weeks I'll magically start feeling like me again, well apart from the flumpy middle section I was telling you about, I guess I'll just have to get used to that.
Whilst 12 weeks is on my mind, I got my scan date through a few days ago, 4th November 9.10am. Exciting times!
Speaking of fruit, I'm back on it, not in a big way, but have had a banana each day this week along with some melon, strawberries, grapes and raspberries. Its a major step forward in re-introducing some regular foods to my diet. The nausea seems to come and go, I thought I'd seen the last of it, but it came back when I went back to work on Monday. I think baby must not like me going to work :P
The biggest change I've noticed over the last week (apart from my increasingly flumpy feeling middle section) is my appetite. I go from fine to starving in minutes. When hunger hits I become restless, irritable and cannot focus on anything but food. Yesterday I had to leave work early because I didn't have any change for the vending machine. I drove to M&S and got a sandwich, a packet of crisps and a wispa duo to half with Mr H. Mental! It did mean that when I got home I wasn't really in the mood for dinner, but did manage a spoonful of homemade curry and rice later on.
My somewhat limited diet and this urgent hunger issue is making food quite a challenge at the moment. I'm still trying to figure out what works best for me. Today I tried having a big breakfast (after the glass of milk I had before leaving for work and the packet of crisps from my lunch I scoffed down whilst sitting in traffic and suffering a major hunger attack). It possibly seems to have worked. I had beans on toast at about 8.30am, then a banana, some chocolate, another packet of crisps (I know, I know!), then my sandwich (ham & mustard) and another nibble of chocolate. Its now 3.40pm and I'm doing ok in the hunger department. Time will tell but I fully expect to be starving by 4pm.
I'm still finding the tiredness to be an issue. I've been getting through this week by having a catnap in my car at lunch. I've got quite a good little set up, a nice cosy coat with a hood to keep the sound/light out and my scarf doubles as a blanket so people *hopefully* don't see me in there. I keep expecting to have one of the security guys tap on the window, I think I'd be quite embaressed! But needs must. Its certainly helping me stay more on the ball in the afternoons, and I think its helping with the nausea too.
Its now been about 3 (or more) weeks since I've done any proper exercise, but now that my cold is mostly shifted, I've had more of an urge to do something. I think I'm going to start the 30 day shred again, I figure I can do 20 minutes right?! Also hoping to get out for a run at the weekend. I'm sure my muscles are going to SCREAM at me when I re-start. But I need to do it, I've hated not having enough energy to exercise, has made me feel really crappy! I'm still ever hopeful that at 12 weeks I'll magically start feeling like me again, well apart from the flumpy middle section I was telling you about, I guess I'll just have to get used to that.
Whilst 12 weeks is on my mind, I got my scan date through a few days ago, 4th November 9.10am. Exciting times!
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
9 weeks today
Can you believe that? Crazy huh.
Thought I'd better stop by blogland just to let you know that I'm alive... well just about. I've had a cold for what seems like weeks. I thought I was getting better and then it got a whole lot worse. In all I've had 3 sick days in the past 3 weeks and 2 work from home days because of the same cold. I'm so done with being ill. The worst thing about pregnancy is you cannot take relief in any form of good medication. Paracetamol or nothing. As a result, I've taken nothing.
In better news, non-cold related, for the last few days I've not felt so bad nausea wise. I've been suffering terribly with it and its really effected what I've been eating.
A typical days consumption has been something like the following...
Breakfast: Coco Pops with Semi Skimmed Milk (non-measured portion)
Mid Morning: Bag of Ready Salted Crisps
Lunch: Ham & Tomato Sandwich or Tuna & Cucumber (this is basically the only fresh stuff I've got into my diet)
Mid Afternoon: Bag of Ready Salted Crisps
Dinner: Stodge (pasta, rice, baked beans, cheese, tomato sauces, chips, bread, etc).
All washed down with Orange squash.
I've basically been unable to stomach the thought of fruit/veg (apart from Tomato and Cucumber in Sandwiches) and also plain water. Theres been days where I've not even been able to stand in the kitchen without the thought of the contents of the fridge turning my stomach. I've been running out of supermarkets after ditching a basket full of items on the floor and I've had to leave the office at lunchtime due to the smell of other peoples lunches.
It has not been fun. But like I said, things have been better for the last few days. I'm still not 100% on form, but I'm at least managing to drink plain water and the thought of fruit/veg is gradually getting more appealing.
I had my booking appointment with the midwife last week, which was basically just an epic form filling session where I was asked various questions about family medical histories and my own. It still doesn't feel real though. Apparently the baby is the size of a grape now, which is still pretty tiny!
Thought I'd better stop by blogland just to let you know that I'm alive... well just about. I've had a cold for what seems like weeks. I thought I was getting better and then it got a whole lot worse. In all I've had 3 sick days in the past 3 weeks and 2 work from home days because of the same cold. I'm so done with being ill. The worst thing about pregnancy is you cannot take relief in any form of good medication. Paracetamol or nothing. As a result, I've taken nothing.
In better news, non-cold related, for the last few days I've not felt so bad nausea wise. I've been suffering terribly with it and its really effected what I've been eating.
A typical days consumption has been something like the following...
Breakfast: Coco Pops with Semi Skimmed Milk (non-measured portion)
Mid Morning: Bag of Ready Salted Crisps
Lunch: Ham & Tomato Sandwich or Tuna & Cucumber (this is basically the only fresh stuff I've got into my diet)
Mid Afternoon: Bag of Ready Salted Crisps
Dinner: Stodge (pasta, rice, baked beans, cheese, tomato sauces, chips, bread, etc).
All washed down with Orange squash.
I've basically been unable to stomach the thought of fruit/veg (apart from Tomato and Cucumber in Sandwiches) and also plain water. Theres been days where I've not even been able to stand in the kitchen without the thought of the contents of the fridge turning my stomach. I've been running out of supermarkets after ditching a basket full of items on the floor and I've had to leave the office at lunchtime due to the smell of other peoples lunches.
It has not been fun. But like I said, things have been better for the last few days. I'm still not 100% on form, but I'm at least managing to drink plain water and the thought of fruit/veg is gradually getting more appealing.
I had my booking appointment with the midwife last week, which was basically just an epic form filling session where I was asked various questions about family medical histories and my own. It still doesn't feel real though. Apparently the baby is the size of a grape now, which is still pretty tiny!
Clearly that grape is not actual size.
So yeah, thats all I've got to say right now. I've not exercised in nearly 3 weeks because of the cold/nausea and I'm itching to get out for a run. I'm really missing it, but I know my body needs to heal first.
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