My day started by me putting together a rather odd (for me) outfit. I'm wearing my new denim shorts from Dotty P's which I'm paranoid are too small (even though they are not) and a really bright pink tight fitting polo top from Jack Wills which I've owned for over a year and never worn because I'm still really self concious in tight fitted tops (makes my boobs look huge and doesn't allow any lumps/bumps to be hidden). I'm also wearing a long grey cardi, black tights and silver ballet pumps. Now this is an outfit that I wouldn't have usually put on for a dress down friday, infact its not something I would have ever put together! Therefore, it has the potential to make me feel really uncomfortable in my own skin - you know that kind of feeling when you lose all self confidence and just want to hide away or get changed. I took a photo of myself in my mirror this morning to try and convince myself that I can pull it off.
This is the photo. It's funny really, because now I've cut my crazy 'just hair-dryed' head off the photo, it almost feels like I'm looking at someone else. I've been maintaining my weight now for over a year, why do I still not see myself how others must perceive me? Why am I still convinced that I'm bigger than I am? How much longer is it going to take before my brain falls inline with my body image? I still take in size 12's to the changing room (along with the 10) because I struggle to believe I'll fit in the 10's. Both the items in this photo are size 10's and they both fit fine.
Tomorrow I plan to take new bikini photos, weigh myself and take new measurements to see how I've been getting on these past few weeks. I've still got 1.5 weeks until Dubail, so if I've really messed up I do have a bit of time to reign things in.
The weekend itself isn't necessarily going to be easy, tomorrow morning I'm planning on a run, probably 6 miles, then we're doing our holiday shopping and we're out in the evening at an American style Diner. I think I'm likely to have the steak & a coke float and a milkshake for dessert and a few cocktails. I'm going to try and eat well during the day and not drink too much as I don't want to waste sunday. Speaking of Sunday, it will be our 1st Wedding Anniversary (awwwww). Not sure what the plan is, apparently Mr H has things under control! On Monday I'll probably do another long-ish run and maybe some more shopping ;)
Reviewing yesterdays goals:
1. Drink at least 2 litres of water a day. check
2. Exercise at least 5 times. check - 4/5 completed with a gym session
3. Run at least 15 miles. pending - 5.5 miles completed
4. Continue with the extra exercises outlined last week. check
5. Try to eat at least 1/2 of every meal (excluding breakfast) salad/fruit/veggies. check
6. Prepare my work lunches the night before. check
7. Dust off my bike and go out for a ride. pending
8. Hold my abs in a bit more in day to day life! check
Not too bad! I'm feeling quite positive about how my week has been working, other than being generally busy and a little disorganised its all good!
Food for today is the second mishap of my Friday morning, we didn't have anything to have for lunch and I forgot my porridge and my berocca. Booooooo! I hate hate hate leaving my breakfast at home. I'm totally gutted about it. On my way into work I stopped off at an M&S Simply Food in an attempt to get something, but there was nothing that I fancied. I did pick up lunch though.
My food for the day is as follows:
Breakfast: 200ml Skimmed Milk Protein Shake, 1 Slice Wholemeal Toast with butter and Raspberry Jam.
Mid Morning: Banana
Lunch: M&S 'Classic Salad' (all their salads are 2 for £3 at the moment) with 2 for £5 M&S Roast Chicken slices - looking at the ingredients to this I'm wondering how they managed to get 'Brown Sugar' into the Roast Chicken, but its still better than fish & chips in the canteen.
Mid Afternoon: Melon & 1 Babybel Light
Dinner: Slow Cooked Moroccan Chicken (adapted from the quorn recipe that Gayle posted - thanks!), I forgot the chick peas and I only have 1 pepper and 3 cherry tomatoes, but it looked nice enough when I took it out of the slow cooker this morning. I'll serve mine with a load of leafy salad.
I'm hitting the gym at lunchtime and really want to concentrate on free weights & abs as I'll be away from the gym for 3 days with the long weekend. So I'll probably do 10-15 minutes of cardio and up to 50 minutes of weights.
Finally, one thing that cheered me up a bit this morning was seeing this on the cupboard door in the work kitchen. The first sticker went up a few months ago, the second label appeared in the last 24 hours. I don't think it will be there much longer!
I totally understand the head not matching the image. I'm still tempted to take size 16's and even 18's into the changing room as i swear a smaller size won't fit, even though i'm fitting into 10's and 12's! *gulp*. I'm not sure my head will ever catch up!
ReplyDeleteThe image i see of myself is still all over the place. I think i need to take some more photos of myself as all the ones at home are of "fat" me. Either that, or the Gok line-up! :lol:
NIC! you look smokin in that outfit, teeny tiny waist and Grrrreat legs! give yourself a little credit, its definately due!
ReplyDeleteoh and i love the sticket at your work!! x
YOu look great Nic, size 10 and all. :) Dubai has come round quick hasn't it! Congratulations for Sunday - i'm sure he'll spoil you rotten. xx
ReplyDeleteI think your right Gayle, I spent so long avoiding the camera that the only pic at home that has me as a smaller size is 1 wedding pic we've got up. Maybe its time to replace the 'fatter me' pics with new ones of me and Mr H. Maybe if I see myself more like that, I'll start to believe it!
ReplyDeleteOoh and I'd totally love to do a Gok line up just to see how messed up my head is.
A very wise woman once said to me that however long you were overweight/dieting for, it will take you that length of time again to realise what the new you looks like. I think she's absolutely right.
ReplyDeleteI've been maintaining for 10 months now and I still see the fat me in the mirror most days, I think it's just part of who we are, unfortunately.
However, I can agree that you look smokin' hot, and have nothing to worry about, either in the office today or over in Dubai!
I can't believe it's your anniversary already, that's mental. This time last year I was stupidly excited about your big day, I might have to nose at your pics again this weekend in celebration!
Nic, you look hot and can SO carry that outfit off, you have nothing to worry about at all. I would even say that I can see gaps between the side of your thighs and your shorts so they are definitely not too small, more too big!
ReplyDeleteAs the other ladies say it is so hard to get your head to catch up with the new you, I'm coming up for 10months being at goal and I still think I'm larger than I actually am. I hope all our heads will catch up with our bodies soon!
Hope you have a great anniversary (its our 3rd on Weds, where did that time go?!)